Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Third Generation Daly Born, Plans Call for at Least Four More; Mother Says, “Not So Fast”
Daly Male Child Miraculously Born with Hair
HERNDON, VA, April 19, 2011—Daly Gray, the only public relations firm specializing in the business of hotels, today announced that it was changing its name to Daly Gray Daly, following the birth of the first member of a third generation of Dalys, a clan that was begun by Jerry Daly, who co-founded Daly Gray with his wife, Katheryn Gray.
Finn Alexander Daly, the first offspring for Daly Gray President Chris Daly and bride Erika, arrived at approximately 1 a.m., April 15, sporting a full complement of fingers, toes and other appropriate accessories.
According to an unnamed company spokesperson, the child was miraculously born with hair, the first seen on the head of a male Daly in more than a decade. “Because this borders on the supernatural, I’ve asked for a paternity test,” said Chris Daly.
After some 15 hours of induced labor, Finn reached for his trusty lightsaber pacifier and said, “Enough of this I have had,” and proceeded to orchestrate his own C-section. Mother Erika said, “Thank God he took matters into his own hands. All Chris was doing was watching hockey playoffs.”
Daly Gray founders Gray and Daly indicated that they have completed a strategic plan that calls for expanding the company over time to Daly Gray, Daly, Daly, Daly, Daly & Daly, but have met with some resistance from the mother of baby Finn.
“We’ll give her a few months, or as long as it takes for the pain of childbirth to become a dim memory,” the senior Daly said. “Once she forgets, we’ll reintroduce it.”
“I like the idea of adding more Dalys to the Daly Gray company name,” said Uncle Patrick Daly, account supervisor at Daly Gray. “It has a nice ring to it.”
The child has been pre-enrolled at Cornell School of Hotel Administration, majoring in English, on a full hockey scholarship.
The grandparents are taking out extra insurance because the child’s father could neither stop nor skate backwards before signing up to play ice hockey. His storied career was highlighted by breaking his leg while walking off the ice six weeks before his wedding.
The name Finn was chosen, according to his father, after the Irish Legend Finn McCool, who built The Giant’s Causeway to Scotland to fight another giant.
In what Chris Daly says is strictly a coincidence, the Causeway begins just three miles from Bushmills, Ireland.
According to his grandmother Katheryn, a Parrothead, Finn is in honor of the Jimmy Buffet classic, Fins.
The child was torn from his mother’s arms two minutes following the birth and taken to a darkened room by his father, where Finn was immediately indoctrinated with a non-stop viewing of the original Star Wars trilogy.
“A good thing I wear diapers, it is” he said. “Four hours without a potty break is hard on the kidneys. I’ve been forbidden to watch the ‘new’ Star Wars for fear that it will rot my brain and cause me to write press releases using inane words like ‘thrilled,’ ‘excited’ and ‘pleased’.”
Grandpa Jerry Gray and newborn Finn Alexander Gray
Finn already has started posting on his father’s music blog, www.oddbloggings.com (see attached photo). “I can’t believe the garbage he listens to,” he said. “Thank God I got a blues guitar from my grandfather so I can play real music.”
Chris Daly has taken a two-week paternity leave to take Finn to the Planet Dagobah to study with a small green creature and learn how to become a Jedi Flack.
“We have a jam-packed schedule that includes 123 really bad Kung Fu movies, plus I plan to read him the original Batman series,” the father said.
Grandfather Daly noted that Batman was Chris’s first career choice but that he was forced to switch to Plan B (Jedi Flack) when his flat feet prevented him from passing the physical.
About Finn Alexander Daly
Weight: 8 pounds, 9 ounces
Height: 21 inches
Hair: Yes, more than the father and grandfather combined.
Eyes: Blue, no glasses at this time
Hobbies: Watching Star Wars, really bad Kung Fu movies and hockey (see attached photo) with the old man; knitting with Mom, jamming the blues with Grandpa Daly and Uncle Jason; reading the classics, like The Cat in the Hat with Aunt Shannon; world travel with Uncle Patrick; attending multiple freshman years in college with Uncle Andy; and editing really bad press releases with “Auntie” Carol McCune and distributing them with “Auntie” Julie Tullbane; and most satisfying, writing press releases that sound really interesting but don’t provide any facts.
Scholarship Opportunity: Contributions to the Finn Alexander Daly Scholarship Fund, a 501c, non-profit tax dodge, may be made by sending small unmarked bills in a plain brown envelope to Daly Gray Daly headquarters in Herndon, Va.
Contact: Finn Alexander Daly (my dad is on paternity leave)